From: Donna Banta
Subject: Missed you guys at the Giants game!
Our group of die-hard ex-Mormons went to LDS Family Night at AT&T Park last Tuesday for two reasons: to drink beer and watch the Mormons. Hello? Where were you?
Here's how the invitation read:
The BYU Alumni invites you and your family to enjoy a night out at theballpark!
LDS Night at the San Francisco GiantsTuesday, June 15th
5:30 Pre-game entertainment at SF Giants County Fair6:45 Pre-game family history presentation in ballpark before first pitch7:15 Game vs. Baltimore Orioles
LDS entertainers, including Showbiz (www.showbizsite.info) and Brooke White, American Idol Top 5 finalist, will perform at pre-game festivities on the site of the SF Giants County Fair located just outside the ballpark by McCovey Cove. Brooke will also sing during the 7th inning stretch.
A Church Area Authority will present Mike "Kruk" Krukow, with his personal family tree, during a pre-game ceremony before the 1st pitch of the game.
"LDS Night" tickets are available at the following prices:$30 Lower Box $20 Lower Box Corner $13 Bleachers -or- View Reserved, InfieldTo order tickets, call the SF Giants sales department. Mention "LDS Night" to receive the discount pricing listed above.
Special rates are available for group ticket orders of greater than 25 and 100. To order, contact xxx xxxx at 415 - ### - ####.
Even though Mark and I were there by 6:30 strolling around the park, we completely missed the presentation to Kruk by a Church Area Authority. Either it happened during the two minutes it took us to buy a couple of Bud Lights, or it was so low key nobody noticed, or it was solemnized in the Oakland Temple.
When we found our fellow ex-Mormons, the conversation went something like this:
"Where are all the Mormons?"
"Damned if I know."
"How 'bout that guy with the male pattern baldness?"
"His beverage looks suspect."
"Maybe that big family?"
"Don't think so, the mom's ears are double-pierced."
After some effort we finally spotted a bleacher section filled with big families, conservative haircuts, non-alcoholic beverages, and a few BYU t-shirts. We concluded they were the Mormons.
Ex-Mormon spies TBM's at San Francisco Giants Game
Sometime around the third inning LDS Family Night at the San Francisco Giants flashed on the screen. We held our breath in anticipation of the inevitable cheer from the proud members of the one and only true church. It never happened. Then later when Mormon American Idol finalist, Brooke White, sang an a cappella version of "Take Me Out to the Ballpark," she failed to arouse the crowd. The little bouncing ball on the lyrics would have done more. We finally had to give up and watch the game -- a downer because the Giants lost.
My dear friends from the Abbottsville Fourth Ward, can you explain this uncharacteristic humility on the part of the Mormons? Has the LDS Church undergone a huge policy shift? Perhaps the San Francisco Stake's Church Public Affairs Committee has yet to be fully staffed? Or could it be that the Mormon Church has insulted the citizens of San Francisco to such a degree that its members are embarrassed to be recognized? Hmmm . . . Oh yeah, I remember. You were being persecuted.
_
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